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Apr. 25th, 2011

The Doctor
I'm glad I'm not with him anymore, but I wish I wasn't alone.

Apr. 18th, 2011

me john deere
I feel like I've lost all ability to write. Words escape me, they dribble away, like silverfish on the bathroom floor, streaking away to hidden corners, as though actually made of sentient quicksilver.

Voice Post

me john deere
VoicePost
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Leave a voice post in your journal answering the following questions:

1. Your name and/or username:
2. Where you're from:
3. The following words: aunt, roof, route, wash, oil, theater, iron, salmon, caramel, fire, water, sure, data, ruin, crayon, toilet, New Orleans, pecan, both, again, probably, spitting image, Alabama, lawyer, coupon, mayonnaise, syrup, pajamas, caught, orange, coffee, direction, naturally, aluminum and herbs.
4. What is it called when you throw toilet paper on a house?
5. What is the bubbly carbonated drink called?
6. What do you call gym shoes?
7. What do you say to address a group of people?
8. What do you call the kind of spider that has an oval-shaped body and extremely long legs?
9. What do you call your grandparents?
10. What do you call the wheeled contraption in which you carry groceries at the supermarket?
11. What do you call it when rain falls while the sun is shining?
12. What is the thing you change the TV channel with?

Jan. 15th, 2011

all smiles, me all smiles
In a moment of unguarded thoughtfulness this morning (afternoon?) I realized something about how I view the world.

"The world is boring and mean in general, and yet there are sometimes pockets, spots, moments which are so good and golden and brilliant, that I feel overwhelmed and blinded with joy that they exist at all. I often feel it's my mission to come to one of these spots and make it wider and wider so there's room for people I love to exist inside it with me."

Art fall into this category. Linguistics. Doctor Who. Diana Wynne Jones novels. These are the first that come to my mind.

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Jan. 8th, 2011

me john deere
Resurfacing to say SIIIIIIICK.

:( boo, used my two new sickdays for 2011 right off the bat. I didn't get sick in 2010 through sheer force of will, so I guess it was bound to catch up to me some time. I've been down since Wednesday, but I can't afford to be ill tomorrow - I have to work. It's all nose and sinus-y stuff, so maybe I have it under control, maybe it will all be okay tomorrow, but sheesk, couldn't I please have gotten sick on a convenient day? Whenever that is...

At any rate, just call me Sneezy McGee if you can find me through the snowdrifts of used tissues in my living room.

Jan. 3rd, 2011

me john deere
The snow and ice here are nearly unbearable. It's blue and sunshiney, but still, the ice, THE ICE!!! I'd almost accept Texas as a compatible place to live, just for the weather. :( why do the warm places also have to be places I don't want to live? Sadness, my poor life.

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Jan. 2nd, 2011

all smiles, me all smiles
Decided to try going vegetarian for just the month of January, to see how it goes. Never mind that I ate a pork sandwich last night at work. I mean from here on out. I have some chicken to put in salads, and I have some ham for sandwiches, but I'm foregoing all hamburgers, and other fast food that isn't vegetarian for the next 30 days.

Mostly I'm just curious as to how my body will react. I eat basically an apple a day and have for the last year and a half, I eat salad pretty often before I go to work. It's just all that other junk I put into myself during the rest of the day.

And I really really do like how a hamburger de-stresses me after a stupid day at work (or during!) but for the sake of scientific experiment, I'll drop the habit for a while. My friend Miriam has some really good-looking veg-recipes on her blog, so I'm looking forward to trying them, because she makes food taste GOOD, no matter what it is. Ox-tails, even...!

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Jan. 1st, 2011

b&s sarah
I'm still HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERE.

I mean to post more regularly. I think lack of outside communication may have contributed to the malaise that was 2010.

So here I am, to give 2011 a go!

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Oct. 18th, 2010

castle godec
I've had this online journal for about 6 years! And I love it, truly, though my lack of posts is communicating otherwise. However, I've recently found that there's just such a joy in writing in a hardbound book with your own Pen of Awesomeness by hand. Especially when your journal looks like this:



Anyway, car trouble, sensor fail which means sometimes the car thinks it's not in gear, and behaves like that, which is scary and obnoxious. I have a friend with a slavish devotion to me, who does cars (I know right, we're an odd couple!) and he's looking into fixing it for me on the cheap, so that's good, but to have it suddenly go out with no warning undermines my trust in the thing. I've worked so hard in the last few years to not have to trust or rely on anyone, and then I find I've put a massive amount of trust in my car, and to have that suddenly broken leaves me feeling bereft and out of control of things, which I HAAAAAAAAAATE.

However, in the "good" column, my niece was born last week. After having the nickname of Jujigaka her whole time enwombed, they finally, three days after she arrived, decided on Jocelyn. Which is close enough to Jujigaka, I suppose, but I had become kind of attached to a niece called Juji. Oh well. At least she's cute! But I won't post pictures because at this stage she just looks like a baby; a girl baby, sure, but a baby nonetheless, and those all look exactly alike. So Jocelyn now pus the niece/nephew count at 3 girls and 4 boys. Poor Lily, being the only girl grandchild for 6 years,and then BAM, within six months she gets two girl cousins... Also, my nieces and nephews are cuter than AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANYONES! Except maybe kuh 's cute niece...

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Oh Hello.

me john deere
Well Hello October!

Lots of things to deal with right now. Everyday I come here to read my friends-list and everyone else's posts, but I feel so BLAH about my life it feels like there's nothing worth saying. Nothing bad, just nothing extraordinary.

My birthday was a couple weeks ago. Now I'm 31. I feel old, but it's because of how I lived my life in the last 5 or 6 years, not because I'm truly old. In talking to my therapist about it (I'm working up to talking about sex stuff, so I am avoiding it by clearing out other concerns) he made a good point about the reason he always keeps pushing me to journal is because you can't change behavior if you can;t think about it, recognize it, see patterns and choose something else. So after a couple weeks of thinking about it this is a push to myself to try it again.

The week after my birthday we all went out to dinner, and by "we all" I mean the five of us friends from PlayersAnonymous - Jeremy, Jacob, Jon, Julie and Miriam. Jacob suggested a new place called La Jolla Groves, and it was DIVOON, Simply DIVOON! I had stuffed mushrooms and chicken-stuffed crepes and then I was stuffed. Right up to the gills, but it was so so so good. And not super expensive! Also, We took pictures!





Also, right around my birthday, a coworker who loves to share divx files, gave me all the seasons of Star Trek: Next Generation, DS9, Voyager and Enterprise. Oh my giddy aunt! I can't believe I'd forgotten how much I love this show. I'm glutting on them a little bit. I'm only on season 2 of ST:NG so far, but oh MAN is it like an old friend from adolescence! I used to draw pictures of all of the NG characters, Deanna Troi especially. And I wanted to be as eccentric as Lwaxanna. It's hilarious to revisit the past like this. I may need to talk some about this at length later.

So all in all, my friends made it a better birthday than my family did, with their one gift card to Target, which they know I'm boycotting. So... yay. My family is so unperceptive, and yet, I like them better than most people I know. I don't get it.

Also, just for fun, since today is National Coming Out Day (Columbus day? What?), I want to officially remind everyone that I am gay. gay gay gay. I am different, and it makes me ME. And yet, I'm just the same as every body else, in a way. ANYWAY, I leave you with THIS!


GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

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